Expressions that can sound rude

Yes, using 반말 (banmal, casual speech) with someone you've just met can sound rude. In Korea, polite speech is the default until you know someone's age and your relationship. If they say 말 편하게 하세요 (mal pyeonhage haseyo), 'Feel free to speak casually,' you can switch. Even if someone looks younger, start politely.

No. 너 (neo), 'you,' is only for friends or people younger than you, and using it with an elder is very rude. Address seniors by title, such as 선생님 (seonsaengnim) or 사장님 (sajangnim), or simply leave out the subject. Korean often drops 'you' entirely, so don't translate the English 'you' directly.

당신 (dangsin) is the dictionary word for 'you,' but saying it directly to someone can sound confrontational, as if starting an argument. It does appear between married couples, in song lyrics and in ads, but avoid it with strangers. Use the person's name or title instead, or simply omit the subject.

With an older person, don't say 몇 살이에요? (myeot sarieyo?). Ask 연세가 어떻게 되세요? (yeonsega eotteoke doeseyo?), using 연세 (yeonse), the honorific word for age. With people around your age, 나이가 어떻게 되세요? (naiga eotteoke doeseyo?) is polite. Koreans often ask age to decide how to address each other.

어이 (eoi) and 야 (ya), both like 'hey,' sound rude unless used between very close friends. With shop staff or strangers, they can cause offense. Use 저기요 (jeogiyo) or 여기요 (yeogiyo), 'Excuse me,' instead. Calling people politely makes a real difference in how you're treated.

Yes. Remarks like 살쪘네요 (saljjyeonneyo), 'You've gained weight,' or 피곤해 보여요 (pigonhae boyeoyo), 'You look tired,' can make people uncomfortable. Such comments were once seen as casual concern, but many people now consider them rude. Even compliments about body shape can be sensitive; praising someone's outfit or style is safer.

수고하세요 (sugohaseyo) is very common, but some people feel it sounds like an instruction to 'keep working hard' when said to a superior. With bosses, 먼저 들어가 보겠습니다 (meonjeo deureoga bogetseumnida) or 감사합니다 (gamsahamnida) is safer. Saying 수고하세요 to shop staff when leaving is perfectly normal. Just know it can be received differently.

씨 (ssi) is used for peers or people junior to you, so attaching it to a superior's name can be rude. Address seniors with their title plus -님 (-nim), such as 과장님 (gwajangnim) or 선생님 (seonsaengnim). If you don't know their title, 선생님 is a safe choice. This is a common learner mistake worth remembering.

뭐? (mwo?), 'What?', is fine among friends but sounds blunt with elders or strangers. Politely, say 네? (ne?) or 뭐라고 하셨어요? (mworago hasyeosseoyo?), 'What did you say?' Adding 죄송한데 (joesonghande), 'Sorry, but,' makes it softer. Even short words should match your relationship with the listener.

알았어 (arasseo), 'Got it,' is casual and used with friends or juniors. 알겠습니다 (algetseumnida), 'Understood,' is polite and suits superiors and work situations. Answering a boss with 알았어요 (arasseoyo) can sound too light. At work or in formal settings, 네, 알겠습니다 is the standard reply.

됐어요 (dwaesseoyo) means 'No need,' but depending on tone it can sound curt or annoyed. To decline gently, say 괜찮아요, 감사합니다 (gwaenchanayo, gamsahamnida), 'I'm fine, thank you.' When a shop offers a bag or receipt you don't need, 괜찮아요 is the safe choice, especially with a smile.

Questions about marriage, dating, salary or religion can feel intrusive to someone you've just met. People once asked about age and marital status casually, but many Koreans now see these topics as private. Before you become close, stick to light subjects like hobbies or travel. If the other person brings something up, it's fine to follow up naturally.

빨리빨리 (ppallippalli), 'hurry, hurry,' is often seen as a symbol of Korea's fast pace, but using it to rush staff or strangers sounds rude. If you're in a hurry, ask politely: 죄송한데 조금 서둘러 주실 수 있을까요? (joesonghande jogeum seodulleo jusil su isseulkkayo?), 'Sorry, could you hurry a little?' Among friends, it's fine as a joke.

그래서요? (geuraeseoyo?), 'So?', can sound dismissive, like 'So what?', depending on tone. To show genuine interest, say 그래서 어떻게 됐어요? (geuraeseo eotteoke dwaesseoyo?), 'So what happened next?' Short phrases are easily misunderstood, so a slightly longer sentence is safer. Watch your facial expression and tone too.

Dropping -요 (-yo) turns polite speech into casual speech: 괜찮아요 (gwaenchanayo) becomes 괜찮아 (gwaenchana). If you forget it with elders or strangers, it can sound rude. People often forgive foreigners, but it's worth building the habit of finishing with -요. When in doubt, adding it is the safe choice.

엄마 (eomma), 'mom,' is how people affectionately address their own mother, so using it for someone else's mother can feel odd or rude. Call a friend's mother 어머님 (eomeonim) and father 아버님 (abeonim). These honorific forms make a polite impression, especially when visiting a friend's home.

With elders, replace 먹다 (meokda, 'to eat') with the honorific 드시다 (deusida), as in 드세요 (deuseyo), 'Please eat.' Saying 먹어요 doesn't show respect and can sound rude. Similarly, 자다 ('to sleep') becomes 주무시다 (jumusida) and 있다 ('to be') becomes 계시다 (gyesida). Knowing a few of these makes you sound much more polite.

Telling an elder 귀여우세요 (gwiyeouseyo), 'You're cute,' can feel awkward or slightly condescending to some. Safer options are 멋지세요 (meotjiseyo), 'You look great,' or 젊어 보이세요 (jeolmeo boiseyo), 'You look young.' Among friends, 귀엽다 is a common compliment. Choose praise that fits the person's age and your relationship.

At the start of a conversation, say 제가 한국어가 서툴러서요 (jega hangugeoga seotulleoseoyo), 'My Korean isn't very good.' People will be more understanding. If you think you've made a mistake, say 죄송해요, 실수했어요 (joesonghaeyo, silsuhaesseoyo), 'Sorry, my mistake.' Most Koreans appreciate the effort, so stay polite and keep trying.

Traditionally, many Koreans consider it unlucky to write a living person's name in red ink. Explanations are passed down, such as an old practice of writing the names of the deceased in red, but no single origin is certain. Some people no longer mind, but using black or blue is safest, especially for elders. Keep this in mind when writing names on cards or guest books.