Formal and informal speech

Jondaenmal (존댓말) is polite or honorific speech, and banmal (반말) is casual speech used between close people. For example, 고마워요 (gomawoyo) is polite and 고마워 (gomawo) is casual. In Korean, choosing the right speech level based on age, relationship and setting matters a lot. When in doubt, use polite speech.

The polite 해요 style, where sentences end in -요 (-yo), covers almost every situation. Phrases like 이거 주세요 (igeo juseyo, "this one, please") and 어디예요? (eodiyeyo, "where is it?") are short and polite, fitting restaurants, shops and taxis. The more formal -습니다 style is for official settings, and banmal comes only after you become close.

Both are polite, but -습니다/-ㅂ니다 (the hasipsio style) is more formal and stiff. You'll hear it in news broadcasts, presentations, official workplace settings and public announcements. The -요 ending (the haeyo style) is polite yet softer and is the most common in daily conversation. Mixing the two with the same person is perfectly natural.

Banmal is generally for close friends, family and people clearly younger than you. Even people the same age often start with polite speech and switch to banmal once they get closer, usually after agreeing to it. Using banmal with someone you just met or with service staff can come across as rude.

말 놓아도 돼요? (mal noado dwaeyo) means "May I speak casually with you?" It is used when two people have become close and want to drop polite speech. More often, the older or more senior person offers first by saying 말 편하게 하세요 (mal pyeonhage haseyo, "feel free to speak casually").

-시- is an honorific marker that elevates the subject of the sentence. Adding it changes 가요 (gayo, "go") to 가세요 (gaseyo) and 읽어요 (ilgeoyo, "read") to 읽으세요 (ilgeuseyo), showing respect for the person doing the action, as in 할머니가 오세요 (halmeoniga oseyo, "Grandma is coming"). Never use it for your own actions.

Yes. Some words change completely when referring to elders. 먹다 (to eat) becomes 드시다 (deusida), 자다 (to sleep) becomes 주무시다 (jumusida), 있다 (to be somewhere) becomes 계시다 (gyesida), 이름 (name) becomes 성함 (seongham) and 나이 (age) becomes 연세 (yeonse). For example: 성함이 어떻게 되세요? (seonghami eotteoke doeseyo, "May I ask your name?")

Both mean "I," but 저 (jeo) is the humble form used in polite speech, and 나 (na) is used with close friends. In polite sentences, say 저는 (jeoneun) and 제가 (jega); in casual speech, say 나는 (naneun) and 내가 (naega). Likewise, 저희 (jeohui) is the humble form of 우리 (uri, "we").

Because age affects which speech level and titles to use. Knowing someone's age helps decide who is the older one and whether you can speak casually. That said, many people now see it as personal, and it's less common to ask right away. If you'd rather not answer, it's fine to smile and change the subject.

Consider the context first. The person may be much older or simply trying to be friendly, and some people use simpler casual forms with learners. If it makes you uncomfortable, continuing to reply politely signals some distance. If you want to be friends, you can ask 저도 말 편하게 해도 돼요? (jeodo mal pyeonhage haedo dwaeyo, "Can I speak casually too?")

Polite speech is the default in Korean workplaces, even between colleagues. Formal -습니다 endings are used in meetings and reports, while -요 endings are common in everyday conversation. Coworkers who use banmal privately often switch back to polite speech in meetings. The norms vary by company culture.

When two characters who used polite speech switch to banmal, it often signals they've grown closer. On the other hand, deliberately using banmal in anger can show disrespect or a challenge. Because a change in speech level alone can show how a relationship shifts, dramas use it often as a storytelling device.

Yes. Using polite speech with shop and restaurant staff, regardless of their age, is basic etiquette in Korea. Simply ending with -요 is enough, as in 이거 주세요 (igeo juseyo, "this, please") or 계산할게요 (gyesanhalgeyo, "I'll pay"). Talking down to staff can look rude, and people are increasingly critical of it.

Both mean "we" or "our," but 저희 (jeohui) humbly lowers your own side in front of the listener. You'd say 저희 회사 (jeohui hoesa, "our company") to a client. When Koreans talk about their own country, though, the National Institute of Korean Language recommends 우리나라 (urinara, "our country") rather than 저희 나라.

Adults usually use banmal with children. Still, many adults speak gently with -요 endings to children they don't know or in public places. Children, meanwhile, are taught to use -요 with adults. As a traveler, speaking to children with -요 is perfectly fine.

Online comments and community posts are short exchanges between strangers, so casual speech and clipped endings like -음 (-eum) and -함 (-ham) are common. Still, polite speech is expected with official accounts or people you're talking to for the first time, and casual comments can come across as aggressive. As a learner, writing with -요 is the safe option.

Most Koreans are very forgiving when foreigners make small mistakes with honorifics, and the effort to speak politely with -요 is appreciated. What can cause offense is deliberately using banmal or calling an older person by their bare name. When unsure, always choose the more polite option.

Better not. Although dictionaries translate 당신 (dangsin) as "you," in real conversation it's used between spouses or in arguments, so it can sound awkward or rude. Koreans usually address people by name plus 씨 (ssi), by their title, or with words like 선생님 (seonsaengnim), or they simply leave out the word "you" altogether.

진지 (jinji) is the honorific word for 밥 (bap, a meal), and 댁 (daek) is the honorific word for 집 (jip, home). You might ask a grandparent 진지 드셨어요? (jinji deusyeosseoyo, "Have you eaten?") or an elder 댁이 어디세요? (daegi eodiseyo, "Where do you live?"). Younger people more often say 식사하셨어요?, but you'll hear these with elders.

Start by ending every sentence with -요. Then notice that removing -요 often gives you the casual form, as in 고마워요 (gomawoyo) becoming 고마워 (gomawo), so you learn both at once. Watching how characters in dramas change their speech depending on relationships is another great way to absorb the patterns.